life is just the chance to grow a soul

I'm engaged!

2010-06-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

It went a little something like this...

unattainable...

2010-05-22T13:11:00.000-07:00

This is the cutest dress I have ever seen in my whole entire life. Basically. Unfortunately, even if I could feel justified in spending 117.99 on a dress I have never actually seen on my body... it is out of stock. And has been for the last month. *Sigh.*

what I LOVE about living in the white house

2010-04-27T16:06:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I moved into my new home - the white house. (And we would all like to thank Chris L. for donating a fun fact booklet about the presidents in honor of our new presidential-sounding home). Many people have laughed at the white house because it is old and a little worn down. I will certainly confess that it isn't perfect. Yes, I found a dead bee in my bed. Yes, our kitchen is the most vibrant shade of kelly green you've ever seen. Yes, the boys who lived here last left a thick layer of grime on everything.

But despite it's imperfections and chipped paint, I think this is going to be my favorite place that I have lived to date. Because I am obsessed with lists, I am going to list all the things I love about my new home!

*The little nook my bed is in. I have put a tension rod with an orange curtain in the nook so I can have my own private little area.
*The room I share with Laura has two little nooks so we can each have lights on and not disturb the other one's sleep
*The desk is huge! I have plenty of space to scrapbook without getting on Laura's side
*The kelly green kitchen actually ended up being really cute once we added some shelves, pictures, and curtains.
*I love having to work on the house and figure out what we want. The living room still has a ways to go, but it is so fun to pick out exactly what we want (as long as it is under $20) to beautify our home.
*I love all the space we have! It is so nice to be in this house and know that I am free to be in any part. It is nice to walk up a staircase to get to my room. It is nice to not live my life from a hallway.
*I love the "home-y" feeling of going through the back door instead of the front.
*I love eating in a room separate from the kitchen.
*I love seeing my piano against the staircase.
*I love that I can live here and stay in my ward. :)
*I love my roomies. I don't really know one of the girls yet, but I met her for a second today and she seemed to be really great. I know first impressions aren't always accurate, but she seems awesome. Haha.

I had a few doubts about moving here (mainly the moving process... there is nothing I hate more than packing! Except maybe bananas...) But there is enough storage and I am enjoying the little challenges of working out the space and decorating. I think I am going to love my summer in the white house!

almost there.

2010-04-20T19:49:00.000-07:00

This is a brick wall. This is what I feel like I am running up against right now.

Tomorrow is my birthday and the last day of finals. It should be a great day. My mom and dad will be in town and they are taking me to Terra Mia (which is just like the pizza I had in France, and I am presuming authentic Italian as well. At least that is what Scott says). There is a big mystery package on my bed waiting for me to open. Not to mention being done with this semester - as interesting as my classes have been, I'm definitely over them.

However, before I can do any of that, I have to take my physiology final at 7 am. I have studied for 10 hours today (and 2 last night), written down about 20 pages of notes from the powerpoints, and repeated hormones over and over in my head. I still don't feel like I'm ready! Every time I try to write down a pathway from memory, I can't think of anything but how many things I should be remembering. Hopefully the multiple choice will jog my memory a little. I'm going to take a break, read through those 20 pages again, and then go to bed, stumble to the JFSB and take that sucker. Then I have a dance test and unpacking... but at least I will be free from the stress of taking this final. I want to get an A!! but if it ends up being a B or B+ life will go on. I just wish I could skip the next 12 hours so I could be done!!

adventures!! at last

2010-04-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to do something that (perhaps nerdily) has always been on my bucket list. I went fencing! With swords! Scott's roommate from freshman year got together a big group of people and we went to a little place in Orem. We had to wear those white jackets that zip up in the back (and the girls got to wear big plastic chest protectors too... that was a little awkward) and those black mask things. It was the perfect way to release finals angst. Even though Scott's arms are so long that he could stab me at leisure. I know we make fun of the medieval club at BYU, but seriously, sword-fighting is awesome. Everyone should try it at least once.

France reunion

2010-04-16T06:46:00.001-07:00

Speaking of nostalgia...

We had another one of our epic crepe nights last night. Thanks to Lisa for putting everything together. Sometimes you never realize how much you miss people until you see them again.
I stole this from Lauren ;)(And I stole this idea from Lauren... here are some favorite pictures of France from other people's facebooks because my computer is still dead dead dead.)

waxing philosophical

2010-04-15T16:40:00.001-07:00

And we now interrupt Lorren's studying for the bioethics exam with a few philosophical musings of her own...

I have been thinking the past few days about "the ideal." I have in my mind what would be the best, most enjoyable version of life. I'm not thinking so much about the things that you do but just the feeling of happiness that you get from life. (This is probably not going to make a lot of sense, because I have been in the library for the last seven hours and my brain has become incoherent in all things except bioethics and statistics. Those I've got for the next 24 hours until I regurgitate them onto the scantron. OK, end of brief aside). Anyway, I have had that feeling of perfection a handful of times (usually in the summer). I have seen what looks like the personification of that perfection in pictures of my friends. I have felt it in retrograde - maybe I didn't feel it at the time, but when I look back I feel it (think Jamie Cullum - "When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life, I see so much magic though I missed it at the time"). Sometimes I feel sad that I can't hang onto that feeling all the time. It makes me feel kind of depressed, like I am failing and if I could just try a little to hang on to those moments, I would be living in this perfect life. I know cognitively that isn't true, but sometimes my heart hopes for it a little bit. Anyway the point of all this is that I'm realizing it isn't true. Just like the best people have days where they can be total jerks, the best lives have imperfect moments. It isn't about having those moments all the time, it's about recognizing them when they come.

To do before reading days

2010-04-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

* Take a midterm for cell bio
* Get TA help on my take home final for cell bio
* Turn in my cell bio final
* Go out to dinner with Grandpa and Grandma Hinckley
* Make a whirlwind appearance at the ward social
* Go to work

OK... this is do-able.

healthy FAIL

2010-04-08T19:51:00.001-07:00

I have failed miserably at being healthy the last few days. Would you like to hear what I had for dinner today?

2 trefoil girl scout cookies
2 do-si-do girl scout cookies
2 tim-tams
cookie dough
2 slices Sara Lee Delightful Low-Calorie Bread
1/3 can cooked chicken
1/6 package of cream cheese (with the chicken)
Glass of milk

Oops. Finals stress.

exercise = love

2010-04-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

As Scott so aptly put it yesterday, "You have whatever you're studying." Diseases, that is. I have always been a little bit of a hypochondriac and taking physiology and behavioral neuroscience at the same time haven't helped any. The last several weeks/months, I have been feeling really dehydrated, tired, short of breath, and also gaining weight despite eating more healthily. We have been learning about diabetes in physiology, which has really been freaking me out.

However, I learned a really cool fact about diabetes yesterday. So, type II diabetes is a problem because usually when you eat glucose, insulin basically hits a button on the cell that allows openings for the glucose to go inside and be used as energy. However, with diabetes II, the insulin can hit the button all it wants, but it won't stimulate those openings for the glucose to come. So that glucose is just floating around the cell, causing problems, while you continue to crave it because your body can't use it. However, exercising opens the glucose channels without the help of glucose, which is why it is recommended for people who have diabetes or are prone to diabetes.

So, it is my goal to exercise at least 5 times a week from now on. I don't think that I have diabetes yet, but I think that I am definitely at risk, considering the way my body is behaving. I would hate to have cardiovascular disease when I am older because I was too irresponsible or lazy to take care of myself.

I worked out last night and felt so good when I woke up in the morning. Hooray for exercising!

sicko

2010-03-30T12:49:00.000-07:00

Remember when being sick was like a mini vacation? You got to stay in bed and watch movies all day. Even though you had to make up some of your homework, usually the teachers let you off easy.

Well, in college it means you do everything that you usually do, except you do it exhausted and foggy-brained. All it means is less productivity.

Emergen-C, anyone?

adventure time please!!

2010-03-26T08:41:00.000-07:00

Ok, I know I am not the world's most outdoorsy person. I have always loved staying inside and reading a book or playing the piano. My skin turns to a fried crisp within 5 minutes of going out into the sun. I am not a fast runner or strong at all... doing curls with 8 lb. weights just about kills me. But for some reason, lately all I want to do is go disappear in a forest or something. I keep seeing photos of my friends hiking mountains and jumping in waterfalls and camping and I have to say, I am getting tired of my life being contained within four buildings (the HBLL, the MARB, Jenny's house, and my apartment at the Elms). I want to wear Chacos and hike things. Too bad Sam's in the MTC, she would indulge in this crazy whim with me. Also too bad that I need to be at this computer right now, making sure I get stats done by midnight. But I can feel a summer of no makeup and grunginess coming on. I've never wanted to get outside so much in my life!

confessions of a meat-i-tarian

2010-03-23T20:15:00.001-07:00

The last few weeks, I have attempted to eat 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. This is more surprising to people who know me well. As a child, I was required to eat one carrot and one orange slice a day. If forced to eat more than this, I would usually throw up. I hate bananas more than anything on this earth. (If you want to hear a really gross story, ask me about how I now know that I think bananas are grosser than poop). My list of vegetables I enjoy is very short: peas, carrots, and spinach. The list of fruit isn't much better: oranges, grapefruit, berries, and grapes (if I'm really in the mood). So how have I managed to even attempt this goal? While I admit I haven't been perfect, I have found some secrets that have helped make eating healthy more tolerable (and even enjoyable).

Fruits:
*I discovered many variations on the common orange. Blood oranges and Cara Cara oranges are a little more expensive, but they are sweeter than navel oranges and also just a bit of a change. Clementines are definitely my favorite citrus-y alternative, although they are getting more difficult to find as they are becoming out of season. I have also enjoyed Minneola tangerines - they are so juicy! I was opening one in class and, I kid you not, a steady, forceful stream of tangerine juice hit my friend Kyle in the face. I had to forfeit a slice of the tangerine to obtain forgiveness.
* I saw a girl in my Neuro class eating a grapefruit like you would eat an orange. I tried this. Unfortunately, I thought it was really nasty. However, you might like it - go ahead and try it!
* If you get berries out of season or berries that don't taste amazing, a little Cool Whip goes a long way. As long as you keep it under a few tablespoons, you aren't consuming too many extra calories, and it helps out with overly tart berries. Just be careful because it does contain a lot of fat.

Vegetables:
* The little autistic boy I work with is on a very strict diet and eats a lot of healthy foods, so I experimented with something his mom makes for him - pureed cauliflower with spaghetti sauce. I also put grated cheese on top. This was admittedly not my favorite - the cauliflower taste was still really, really strong. However, Scott told me his mom put Velveeta cheese on cauliflower. I think next time I am going to boil cauliflower and just pour Velveeta sauce over it. We'll see how it goes
* Edamame is a life saver. It is delicious, cheap, and very easy to prepare. It is a great snack food. I put a little sea salt on it, which helps satisfy salty cravings.
* At Macey's I found packs of four individually bagged servings of baby carrots for only $1.39. This is great if I have forgotten to get all my servings or will be on campus all day. Also, each bag is only 25 calories but takes a very long time for me to finish. I am munching on it usually at least 30 minutes. Very good for satisfying hunger pangs.
* Spinach salads are always great and if you get a sweet dressing like Litehouse Blueberry Pomegranate or Litehouse Honey Dijon, you can satisfy the cravings for sweet. I like to eat salad at the end of my meal so I can have "dessert." I also like to put feta cheese on it and hard boiled eggs when I don't have time to cook chicken.
* I love peas and they are great filler food. I just use freezer peas (canned peas have a gross aftertaste) and put some salt on them.
* I have bought some freezer green beans but haven't brought myself to eat them yet... however, I think I am going to get some onions next time I go to the store and saute them and then combine them with the green beans and parmesan cheese. It sounds yummy to me!
* 1/2 cup of Ragu spaghetti sauce is more than a full serving of veggies! This is so easy to eat. You can put it on pasta, other vegetables, crackers, make pizzas on quesadillas or bagels... definitely my favorite way to "cheat."
* I love chili, so getting a more vegetable heavy chili definitely helped me grab an extra serving.
* This isn't the world's greatest option, but salsa also supplies some veggies. Pita chips or crackers are a little healthier than tortilla chips. I don't really like chunky salsa (although I've gotten better about it) so I look for smooth varieties... or if you make your own, you can do it in a blender.
* Cutting carrots in half and frying them in a pan on the stove in butter tastes surprisingly like sweet potato fries. Another "cheater" option but it is healthier than the real thing.

Anyway, I have lost two pounds since I started eating more vegetables! And whether or not it is psychological, I feel much better after I eat - none of that bogged down, too-full to move feeling. I don't LOOOOOVE vegetables yet, but I am proud to announce that over half of my grocery list involves fruits and veggies, and I hope to grow to love them more. :)

current obsessions

2010-03-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

* Cupcakes

* T-strap sandals

* Bollywood movies

* yellow clothes
* Hawaiian haystacks
* Middlemarch by George Eliot
* My Kindle

junior high is over, right?

2010-03-18T10:16:00.000-07:00

It is shocking to me how catty girls can still be to each other. I can't believe that 10 years after those angsty, pubescent days of middle school, we, now adult women, still have the need to belittle each other behind our backs. Does it really feel that good to "vent" our annoyances about others constantly? Is it really that big a deal if so and so "borrowed" your laundry money, your favorite pants, or your bread? Sure it's rude to take advantage of someone, and sure it's frustrating. No one likes to be taken advantage of, and most people don't like drama. But I think so often we are so busy complaining about how we've been wrong, we don't notice the hurt we are inflicting. Everyone has annoying habits, including the person complaining. But we all hope to be loved or at least treated with respect despite our imperfections. If a habit or event actually is a problem, it should be between the offender and the offendee and dealt with in an upfront manner, instead of talking about it to everyone except the person who has offended you.

In every apartment I've lived in, to some extent there has been the roommate that everyone else loves to hate on. Sometimes it's been me, sometimes it's been someone else, and unfortunately, I have to admit that sometimes I've been the one venting. But being exposed to it today helped me to realize that the most Christ-like thing to do is to try and understand the person who is driving you crazy and have charity for them. At the very least, keep your negative comments to yourself and discuss any problems with the person who is causing them. I want to apologize to anyone who has had to listen to me gossip or complain about someone in the past. I am making the goal today that I will not speak negatively or critically about other people to build myself up or "vent" my emotions. There is a difference between expressing frustration and trying to solve a problem and just attacking someone over and over again. We are counseled to try and have unity in our homes, and while we remain unmarried, our apartments are our "home away from home." This kind of action brings only division. If you ever hear me criticizing needlessly, please call me on it so I can apologize to you for making you listen to poisonous things.

wonder

2010-03-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

I am sitting on the fourth floor of the good old HBLL in the Asian section. There is a little group of kindergarteners on a field trip doing a scavenger hunt. There are some random Asian artifact type things that are actually pretty cool, but have more or less become background to me because I study here every day. One group of little kids came right up next to me to this model of a Chinese house that is covered with really ornate gold decorations and one of the kids said, "It's like a miracle!" They were so entranced with these objects. Nearby there is carved wooden table and this little girl was just tracing over the carvings with her finger. (Like little kids ever obey the signs saying "Do Not Touch.") I was just reminded how beautiful things seem when you are a kid and everything is new. I think I should try to remember what it feels like to see everything for the first time and appreciate the beauty of what I see every day. :)

shout out

2010-01-21T19:59:00.001-08:00

I love:::
<3 Colbie Caillat
<3 Vitamin water
<3 neuroscience seminars
<3 Jenna
<3 Gilmore Girls
<3 realizing that even though school is hard and sometimes mundane, there are other things coming

friendship

2010-01-16T12:31:00.000-08:00

For most of my teenage life I have always had a boy I was interested in. Even when I wasn't dating someone, I usually primarily hung out with "the guys." My best friend is a boy. I liked boys because they were not jealous or catty or gossipy - they were interested in having fun and having good conversations about life, not about who was dating who.

However, over the last six months or so I have realized how important it is to have girl friends. Maybe this is kind of a silly thing to think about. But I really am starting to realize how much women need each other and can support each other in ways that relationships with men can't. I have had the opportunity the last couple of semesters to live with women who are very strong and are really good examples to me, and have always been completely supportive, even when they didn't know me very well yet. I have developed some really strong friendships through visiting teaching, and we are still close now, even though that particular calling has ended. I went to an old roommate's wedding on Thursday and had the time of my life not because some guy asked for my number or asked me to dance but because I got to have the first good talk with my former roommate in months. After having lunch with my sister and her best friend today, I feel completely rejuvenated and ready to face all the crazy things that are coming at me this semester.

So my conclusion? Well, I am dating someone who is in my opinion one of the best guys I know. It is a really good relationship. However, no matter how good that relationship is, I still need to spend time with my girls and develop those strong friendships. Balance is everything. :)

The Jane Austen Book Club

2010-01-06T20:32:00.000-08:00

During the winter break, I watched a weird movie called The Jane Austen Book Club. I didn't love the movie too much, but it reminded me of a conversation I have had with my roommates. Most girls love Pride and Prejudice (if you don't, I'm sorry for stereotyping you) and I'm sure we are not the only ones who have tried to analyze which Jane Austen character we are most like. Maureen was classified as Jane, Katie was classified as Mr. Darcy (I still don't actually understand that one), but I was having a hard time figuring out who I was, when my friend Logan (a closet Austen fan) told me I was Marianne from Sense and Sensibility. I loved hearing this because Sense and Sensibility is my favorite Austen book and movie, and Marianne is my favorite character. However, I didn't think much beyond that until I was driving home tonight thinking about different relationships I have had. Like Marianne, I used to think the more angst and pain you went through for a relationship, the better. It had to be romantic and crazy, throwing all other aspects of your life out of the picture while you were consumed with this crazy emotion. I had a few relationships like that and they ended in disaster, with our feelings for each other getting burned out pretty quickly while schoolwork and other friendships suffered. However, at the end of Sense and Sensibility, Marianne learns that she doesn't need to be losing her mind to be truly in love. There is a time and season to everything and it is important to be balanced in order to find lasting happiness. I think I am working on learning that lesson right now. Sometimes it would be nice to throw caution to the wind and be irresponsible and crazy, but indulging in that kind of behavior will only cause problems in the end, while being aware of the timing and appropriateness of everything will build a strong and lasting relationship.

new year's resolutions

2009-12-31T15:46:00.000-08:00

1. Weigh 125 pounds and maintain it. Everyone has to have a weight goal for New Years, right? I am almost happy with my weight but could be a little more in shape so there ya go.
2. Be able to run 5 miles without stopping to walk. This one might take a little more work.
3. Do 1 scrapbook page a week. I am now about 2.87 years behind... possibly more. I know I'll never really catch up but I figure I have a better chance now that I am single than I will when I am married and have little kidlets running around... or when I am in pharmacy school and ISU has eaten my soul. So, I am going to work on it. Yay.
4. Not swearing for the whole entire year. Now, don't get me wrong. Swearing is not a usual occurrence or anything, and I can count the number of people who have heard me swear on one hand. But I figure I might as well try to be perfect in it instead of slipping up every couple of months. Especially in the car. Haha.
5. Be sweet under pressure. OK, this isn't really a measurable goal but yesterday at Chili's my dad was talking to us about what we could work on to be better people. He told me that I was very "What you see is what you get." This is actually something I kind of like about myself. However, when I am in a bad mood, usually because of stress or feeling tired or sick, I act stressed or tired or sick. I don't ever try to dumb it down for people, and this is not a good thing. It's easy to be nice to people when I feel good about the world... so now I am going to try (harder) to be nice to people when I feel badly about things.

2009-12-26T12:06:00.001-08:00

"I need these. Beware!!" - Mom, brandishing a fistful of tampons at my dad.

"That song is inappropriate. Remove it from your ipod." - the one and only Jace Johns

taking pictures of us girls in our sweaters

2009-12-25T21:48:00.000-08:00

"Love me, love me. Now hate me, John, hate me." - John Tucker Must Die

"This is a retarded-free zone!" - Jenna
"No, this is a freely retarded zone!" - Mom

"Look how not huge you don't look." - Mom

more quote wall

2009-12-25T16:57:00.000-08:00

"When he hugs you, he internalizes you" -Grandpa Johns, in reference to my cousin Matt. Don't know why that one was so funny, but we laughed really hard. :)

quote wall for my LIFE!!

2009-12-24T09:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday everyone kept saying funny things, and I couldn't help missing the quote walls I have had with some of my roommates over the years. The thing is that now I wouldn't know where to put it since it features most of the people I know and love. :) So I am putting it on this blog, since I don't use it for much else. Expect updates.

"If this thing falls off the vacuum again, I am going to swear!!" - Mom. (The thing did fall off again, about eight times, and she kicked it across the room).

"Why are you laughing?" -Me
"I'm not laughing, I'm hyperventilating." -Scott (Studying for molecular biology)

OK, and now that I have finally sat down to do this, I can't remember anymore! So I guess I will have to add to it as I remember them.

So, it's been a while.

2009-09-25T14:48:00.001-07:00

I haven't felt the desire to bare my soul to the universe for almost 2 months. I don't really have anything to bare right now, either, except that I'm alone in my apartment, cozy in a grey sweatshirt, listening to cozy indie music and procrastinating my genetics homework.

So the summer was an interesting one. I learned a lot, most especially how to turn down the worrying in my mind. (I know it's sad, because I still worry a lot. But I've really improved drastically). Now I am trying to keep the worrying down while having about 10,000 more things that I have to do. Classes are pretty intense this semester, and half the time I feel like I am the intellectual inferior of everyone there. I am taking an O Chem lab, Genetics, Anatomy, a CS Lewis class, a couple of dance classes, and a religion class. In Anatomy I feel like everyone has the procedure down to a T and I am flailing around trying to stuff all these terms into my little brain. But I keep getting better every week, so hopefully by the end of this semester I will have it figured out enough to earn an A. Dance is also kind of intimidating. I had my first test today, the Chacha. The moves are pretty tough, and it is all I can do just to finish them. When I got my comment sheet all the feedback was negative... but it was still very constructive, so hopefully I can learn from this test and do better in the class from now on. I feel pretty overwhelmed with school but I am trying to remember that first of all, grades are not everything. I can get into pharmacy school somewhere, even if it isn't my first choice. And anyway, life doesn't mean much if there isn't some joy thrown in there.

And along that vein... despite the stress (it's really only been hovering around me the last three days or so) I have definitely been able to find a lot more joy this semester. I think it comes from trusting in the Lord and also just allowing myself to have more fun. I am meeting amazing people and doing things that I used to think I was just too busy for, like intramurals. (My kickball team won in an AWESOME game on Wednesday night! I am so excited about it I keep telling everyone what happened). I am not spending every weeknight in the library, and even when I do have to study til midnight I do it among friends. Which is a much better idea because then sometimes I get a back rub into the bargain.

All in all... life is not perfect. There are many things that I'm not sure how I will handle at this point. But in life you can always find something to complain about, and you can always find something to smile about. You just have to choose. I think I'll choose smiling. :)

more natural highs

2009-07-26T12:31:00.000-07:00

Maybe this blog will just be an ode to natural highs... anyway I was talking to Caitlin and we have some more.

*Running through the sprinklers
*When you have lots and lots of marshmallows in your Lucky Charms.
*Discovering a good conversationalist
*Kamila Shamsie's language construction
*Staying up until three in the morning with good friends
*Doing something awesome for the first time! (Yesterday: first baseball game, first drive-in movie)
*Chacha (The dance, not the cell phone service)
*Loving life

Le fin. Pour maintenant.

natural highs

2009-07-18T10:19:00.000-07:00

My friend Caitlin and I have lately been classifying things as "natural highs." You know, those small and simple things that just make life beautiful. We've been talking about making a list for a little while, and I thought I would just make a list of my own personal natural highs. :)

*swinging
*looking at the stars
*when the sky is completely blue with no clouds
*wearing Rock and Republic Jeans :)
*mochi
*the smell of lilacs
*Indian food
*reading a line in a book where the words are just beautiful and flow like poetry
*certain jazz chords... mmmmm
*anticipation
*sinking into your pillow after being exhausted
*getting a text message
*being told you're beautiful
*Marshmallow Mateys + whipped cream = bliss
*love
*friends
*being invited somewhere
*eye contact
*hitting a clean F chord on the guitar
*cooking something delicious
*doing things for other people, even when you are busy
*looking at the screen at the testing center and seeing "good job" next to your score
*being on time
*a really good chick flick. :)
*waking up and realizing you have a few hours left to sleep
*eating chocolate
*dancing

I could probably go on forever, but I have to get ready. Just writing this list was a natural high, haha.

good quote

2009-07-16T07:53:00.001-07:00

Someone had this on their facebook, and as I am trying to develop the character trait of charity I liked it a lot. :)

You can't give joy to someone else, but you can find it by trying.

Can I just say...

2009-07-14T23:58:00.001-07:00

It's been an amazing day. :-D

good perspective.

2009-07-07T12:53:00.001-07:00

I am reading this for my Humanities 202 class and I thought it offered a good way to maintain an eternal perspective.

All nature is but art, unknown to thee;
All chance, direction, which thou canst not see;
All discord, harmony not understood;
All partial evil, universal good:
And, spite of pride in erring reason’s spite,
One truth is clear, whatever is, is right.

This is from the Essay on Man by Alexander Pope. I think it is just a good reminder that no matter what is happening in life, and no matter how wrong it feels at the time, everything is working for a greater purpose.

when one door closes, another door opens.

2009-06-24T13:50:00.000-07:00

Cliche of all cliches. But this one actually makes me feel better. A big part of my life (and especially my heart) is missing right now. There is definitely a lot of emptiness in my soul, and a lack of understanding as to why these things have to happen. But at the same time, I have the faith that they are happening for a reason, even if the reason is unclear to me. And I know that although this chapter of my life is ending, the story isn't over. One thing that I have noticed over the last few years is the way life turns out is NEVER what I expect. The things that I do and the people that I interact with are not things that I imagined when I was younger. But in a lot of ways, this is a good thing. So although I know the road to the unimagined, wonderful things that are awaiting me will be paved with a lot of unimagined, sad things, this isn't the end of the world.

hope.

2009-06-22T21:40:00.000-07:00

It has been a bad day. :( But one thing that I have been reminded of today is that I need to hope for the best no matter what is happening. Because sometimes (often) (maybe always) life will surprise us, and things will be ok.

And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also, knowing that tribulation worketh patience; and patience, experience, and experience, hope; And hope maketh not ashamed because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
Romans 5:3-5

finals = done

2009-06-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

I took my final for Microbiology 221 today, and I got an A. It's so good to have a nice taste in your mouth at the end of the semester, instead of wishing that you'd put in a little more time or worked a little harder (or cursing your schedule because more time just wasn't physically possible). Too bad I have approximately zero easy classes left in my undergrad career.

I have to say though, the Testing Center is a total zoo. The thing that bugs me the most is when I am sitting at the desk and someone is standing right next to me, so close I constantly bump them as I am trying to write, because there are no seats. I think the TC should not let additional people in when all the seats are full. Better to wait outside in a nice, open area than to be penned up with hundreds of stressed out people, some of whose futures are riding on the line (whoever said "it's only a test" has never been to college).

But that's ok... it is all over now. Until Tuesday, when summer starts. :) Now I can just relax, do cleaning checks, and not think about microorganisms or conservation of energy.

jumping on the bandwagon

2009-06-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

I've experimented with blogs for a long time, either with private online journals that no one had access to, or travel logs like when I went to France, and even a couple of sites where I would publish poetry and other weird stuff from those angsty high school days, haha. But I have decided I am going to be just like everyone else and try this out! We'll see how it goes.

And with that little introduction I just have to say that life is so good right now! (A huge statement coming from me during finals week!) Here are just a few of the amazing things about life right now:
*My schedule was pretty easy for spring term, and I have had my first chance to really relax in about a year.
*I have great roommates and a great ward, and I have had the chance to reconnect with a lot of friends this spring (amazing what not having a packed schedule will do for your social life).
*I have a challenging but interesting job.
*I'm dating an amazing guy.
*I have a lot of exciting opportunities this summer (starting research and taking a guitar class, yay!).
*The church is true!
*The mountains in Utah are amazing in the summer! (And I have time to hike in them!)
*I'm going home in two days for the weekend
*I'm going to California in a week
*I'm going to Oregon in two weeks
So basically... life is great. :)

And now... I have to go back to studying for that Microbiology final.