I'm engaged!

It went a little something like this...

unattainable...

This is the cutest dress I have ever seen in my whole entire life. Basically. Unfortunately, even if I could feel justified in spending 117.99 on a dress I have never actually seen on my body... it is out of stock. And has been for the last month. *Sigh.*

what I LOVE about living in the white house

Yesterday I moved into my new home - the white house. (And we would all like to thank Chris L. for donating a fun fact booklet about the presidents in honor of our new presidential-sounding home). Many people have laughed at the white house because it is old and a little worn down. I will certainly confess that it isn't perfect. Yes, I found a dead bee in my bed. Yes, our kitchen is the most vibrant shade of kelly green you've ever seen. Yes, the boys who lived here last left a thick layer of grime on everything.

But despite it's imperfections and chipped paint, I think this is going to be my favorite place that I have lived to date. Because I am obsessed with lists, I am going to list all the things I love about my new home!

*The little nook my bed is in. I have put a tension rod with an orange curtain in the nook so I can have my own private little area.
*The room I share with Laura has two little nooks so we can each have lights on and not disturb the other one's sleep
*The desk is huge! I have plenty of space to scrapbook without getting on Laura's side
*The kelly green kitchen actually ended up being really cute once we added some shelves, pictures, and curtains.
*I love having to work on the house and figure out what we want. The living room still has a ways to go, but it is so fun to pick out exactly what we want (as long as it is under $20) to beautify our home.
*I love all the space we have! It is so nice to be in this house and know that I am free to be in any part. It is nice to walk up a staircase to get to my room. It is nice to not live my life from a hallway.
*I love the "home-y" feeling of going through the back door instead of the front.
*I love eating in a room separate from the kitchen.
*I love seeing my piano against the staircase.
*I love that I can live here and stay in my ward. :)
*I love my roomies. I don't really know one of the girls yet, but I met her for a second today and she seemed to be really great. I know first impressions aren't always accurate, but she seems awesome. Haha.

I had a few doubts about moving here (mainly the moving process... there is nothing I hate more than packing! Except maybe bananas...) But there is enough storage and I am enjoying the little challenges of working out the space and decorating. I think I am going to love my summer in the white house!

almost there.

This is a brick wall. This is what I feel like I am running up against right now.

Tomorrow is my birthday and the last day of finals. It should be a great day. My mom and dad will be in town and they are taking me to Terra Mia (which is just like the pizza I had in France, and I am presuming authentic Italian as well. At least that is what Scott says). There is a big mystery package on my bed waiting for me to open. Not to mention being done with this semester - as interesting as my classes have been, I'm definitely over them.

However, before I can do any of that, I have to take my physiology final at 7 am. I have studied for 10 hours today (and 2 last night), written down about 20 pages of notes from the powerpoints, and repeated hormones over and over in my head. I still don't feel like I'm ready! Every time I try to write down a pathway from memory, I can't think of anything but how many things I should be remembering. Hopefully the multiple choice will jog my memory a little. I'm going to take a break, read through those 20 pages again, and then go to bed, stumble to the JFSB and take that sucker. Then I have a dance test and unpacking... but at least I will be free from the stress of taking this final. I want to get an A!! but if it ends up being a B or B+ life will go on. I just wish I could skip the next 12 hours so I could be done!!

adventures!! at last

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to do something that (perhaps nerdily) has always been on my bucket list. I went fencing! With swords! Scott's roommate from freshman year got together a big group of people and we went to a little place in Orem. We had to wear those white jackets that zip up in the back (and the girls got to wear big plastic chest protectors too... that was a little awkward) and those black mask things. It was the perfect way to release finals angst. Even though Scott's arms are so long that he could stab me at leisure. I know we make fun of the medieval club at BYU, but seriously, sword-fighting is awesome. Everyone should try it at least once.

France reunion

Speaking of nostalgia...

We had another one of our epic crepe nights last night. Thanks to Lisa for putting everything together. Sometimes you never realize how much you miss people until you see them again.
I stole this from Lauren ;)(And I stole this idea from Lauren... here are some favorite pictures of France from other people's facebooks because my computer is still dead dead dead.)

waxing philosophical

And we now interrupt Lorren's studying for the bioethics exam with a few philosophical musings of her own...

I have been thinking the past few days about "the ideal." I have in my mind what would be the best, most enjoyable version of life. I'm not thinking so much about the things that you do but just the feeling of happiness that you get from life. (This is probably not going to make a lot of sense, because I have been in the library for the last seven hours and my brain has become incoherent in all things except bioethics and statistics. Those I've got for the next 24 hours until I regurgitate them onto the scantron. OK, end of brief aside). Anyway, I have had that feeling of perfection a handful of times (usually in the summer). I have seen what looks like the personification of that perfection in pictures of my friends. I have felt it in retrograde - maybe I didn't feel it at the time, but when I look back I feel it (think Jamie Cullum - "When I look back on my ordinary, ordinary life, I see so much magic though I missed it at the time"). Sometimes I feel sad that I can't hang onto that feeling all the time. It makes me feel kind of depressed, like I am failing and if I could just try a little to hang on to those moments, I would be living in this perfect life. I know cognitively that isn't true, but sometimes my heart hopes for it a little bit. Anyway the point of all this is that I'm realizing it isn't true. Just like the best people have days where they can be total jerks, the best lives have imperfect moments. It isn't about having those moments all the time, it's about recognizing them when they come.