The Jane Austen Book Club

During the winter break, I watched a weird movie called The Jane Austen Book Club. I didn't love the movie too much, but it reminded me of a conversation I have had with my roommates. Most girls love Pride and Prejudice (if you don't, I'm sorry for stereotyping you) and I'm sure we are not the only ones who have tried to analyze which Jane Austen character we are most like. Maureen was classified as Jane, Katie was classified as Mr. Darcy (I still don't actually understand that one), but I was having a hard time figuring out who I was, when my friend Logan (a closet Austen fan) told me I was Marianne from Sense and Sensibility. I loved hearing this because Sense and Sensibility is my favorite Austen book and movie, and Marianne is my favorite character. However, I didn't think much beyond that until I was driving home tonight thinking about different relationships I have had. Like Marianne, I used to think the more angst and pain you went through for a relationship, the better. It had to be romantic and crazy, throwing all other aspects of your life out of the picture while you were consumed with this crazy emotion. I had a few relationships like that and they ended in disaster, with our feelings for each other getting burned out pretty quickly while schoolwork and other friendships suffered. However, at the end of Sense and Sensibility, Marianne learns that she doesn't need to be losing her mind to be truly in love. There is a time and season to everything and it is important to be balanced in order to find lasting happiness. I think I am working on learning that lesson right now. Sometimes it would be nice to throw caution to the wind and be irresponsible and crazy, but indulging in that kind of behavior will only cause problems in the end, while being aware of the timing and appropriateness of everything will build a strong and lasting relationship.

new year's resolutions

1. Weigh 125 pounds and maintain it. Everyone has to have a weight goal for New Years, right? I am almost happy with my weight but could be a little more in shape so there ya go.
2. Be able to run 5 miles without stopping to walk. This one might take a little more work.
3. Do 1 scrapbook page a week. I am now about 2.87 years behind... possibly more. I know I'll never really catch up but I figure I have a better chance now that I am single than I will when I am married and have little kidlets running around... or when I am in pharmacy school and ISU has eaten my soul. So, I am going to work on it. Yay.
4. Not swearing for the whole entire year. Now, don't get me wrong. Swearing is not a usual occurrence or anything, and I can count the number of people who have heard me swear on one hand. But I figure I might as well try to be perfect in it instead of slipping up every couple of months. Especially in the car. Haha.
5. Be sweet under pressure. OK, this isn't really a measurable goal but yesterday at Chili's my dad was talking to us about what we could work on to be better people. He told me that I was very "What you see is what you get." This is actually something I kind of like about myself. However, when I am in a bad mood, usually because of stress or feeling tired or sick, I act stressed or tired or sick. I don't ever try to dumb it down for people, and this is not a good thing. It's easy to be nice to people when I feel good about the world... so now I am going to try (harder) to be nice to people when I feel badly about things.

"I need these. Beware!!" - Mom, brandishing a fistful of tampons at my dad.

"That song is inappropriate. Remove it from your ipod." - the one and only Jace Johns

taking pictures of us girls in our sweaters

"Love me, love me. Now hate me, John, hate me." - John Tucker Must Die

"This is a retarded-free zone!" - Jenna
"No, this is a freely retarded zone!" - Mom

"Look how not huge you don't look." - Mom

more quote wall

"When he hugs you, he internalizes you" -Grandpa Johns, in reference to my cousin Matt. Don't know why that one was so funny, but we laughed really hard. :)

quote wall for my LIFE!!

Yesterday everyone kept saying funny things, and I couldn't help missing the quote walls I have had with some of my roommates over the years. The thing is that now I wouldn't know where to put it since it features most of the people I know and love. :) So I am putting it on this blog, since I don't use it for much else. Expect updates.

"If this thing falls off the vacuum again, I am going to swear!!" - Mom. (The thing did fall off again, about eight times, and she kicked it across the room).

"Why are you laughing?" -Me
"I'm not laughing, I'm hyperventilating." -Scott (Studying for molecular biology)

OK, and now that I have finally sat down to do this, I can't remember anymore! So I guess I will have to add to it as I remember them.

So, it's been a while.

I haven't felt the desire to bare my soul to the universe for almost 2 months. I don't really have anything to bare right now, either, except that I'm alone in my apartment, cozy in a grey sweatshirt, listening to cozy indie music and procrastinating my genetics homework.

So the summer was an interesting one. I learned a lot, most especially how to turn down the worrying in my mind. (I know it's sad, because I still worry a lot. But I've really improved drastically). Now I am trying to keep the worrying down while having about 10,000 more things that I have to do. Classes are pretty intense this semester, and half the time I feel like I am the intellectual inferior of everyone there. I am taking an O Chem lab, Genetics, Anatomy, a CS Lewis class, a couple of dance classes, and a religion class. In Anatomy I feel like everyone has the procedure down to a T and I am flailing around trying to stuff all these terms into my little brain. But I keep getting better every week, so hopefully by the end of this semester I will have it figured out enough to earn an A. Dance is also kind of intimidating. I had my first test today, the Chacha. The moves are pretty tough, and it is all I can do just to finish them. When I got my comment sheet all the feedback was negative... but it was still very constructive, so hopefully I can learn from this test and do better in the class from now on. I feel pretty overwhelmed with school but I am trying to remember that first of all, grades are not everything. I can get into pharmacy school somewhere, even if it isn't my first choice. And anyway, life doesn't mean much if there isn't some joy thrown in there.

And along that vein... despite the stress (it's really only been hovering around me the last three days or so) I have definitely been able to find a lot more joy this semester. I think it comes from trusting in the Lord and also just allowing myself to have more fun. I am meeting amazing people and doing things that I used to think I was just too busy for, like intramurals. (My kickball team won in an AWESOME game on Wednesday night! I am so excited about it I keep telling everyone what happened). I am not spending every weeknight in the library, and even when I do have to study til midnight I do it among friends. Which is a much better idea because then sometimes I get a back rub into the bargain.

All in all... life is not perfect. There are many things that I'm not sure how I will handle at this point. But in life you can always find something to complain about, and you can always find something to smile about. You just have to choose. I think I'll choose smiling. :)